Once again I went home for the weekend. Once again, I was so happy to be home, so happy to be with people who loved me, to be familiar with my surroundings, to see familiar faces...

Once again, I was a near-emotional basket case by Sunday afternoon. By Monday, as I heading back home (rather, my parents' house) to collect my things, I was holding back tears and trying to ignore that gross feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I came back Monday afternoon. Lisa was kind enough to take me down, which was a nice distraction. After she had left, I had a pounding headache and just couldn't bare to be up anymore, so I went to bed at 8:30pm.

Since then, I've been pretty blue. I've been fortunate to have enough distraction in my life to keep it from turning into an all out depression, but nevertheless, it makes me sad to go home. I've been questioning whether its even worth it to go home if I feel so shitty afterwards.

It's not like I hate it here, though. I mean, I'm not in love with this place, for certain, but it's not agony to be existing here. Work can sometimes be exciting (more on that later), though usually a little mundane. The town itself has potential if only I 'wait until the summer', a phrase I believe they should make their civic motto, I've heard it so much.

I told myself when I started this job that I was re-evaluate things every three months. On Friday, it will be 3 months. All in all, things have been about as good as I could expect, though I feel like I'm not truly having any fun here. So, what's that supposed to mean?

Anyway, in the midst of all this questioning, I finally had my FIRST CLIENT yesterday. It was a girl who came in to get a pregnancy test for her 'friend'. I actually do think it was for her friend, though. Anyway, I was probably much more nervous than she was - I was actually shaking a little bit when I gave her the bag I made for her (an opaque bag with the test, some condoms, my card, and a few pamphlets). Anyway, I hope everything works out okay for her. She was particularly interested (or rather, her friend) if the services we provided were confidential. I assured her they were. Since this is a small community, I assume she's either quite young, or is fairly well known. Either way, they're all strangers to me, so it's not like I'd know who they were anyway.

Also, I decided to volunteer to teach some computer courses through the women's center. I've been missing it. Even though this current work is my passion, I don't have the confidence I have when I'm teaching computers. I think by doing this it'll at least assure me that I have some skills.

So, enough bitching and complaining for now....